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litteredmind

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(no subject) [Nov. 1st, 2009|04:37 pm]
I'm incredibly blessed to get to do life with some of the most selfless and God-loving people around.


OCF UQ & GU (plus 2 QUT)



My fellow graduates



Chrissy Pooo, Jono & Shawnnie



Mel.H



Phoebe (Spelt Phoebe, not FEEBEE)



"Whatever la... Anything la... Never mind la..."



Chrissy poooooo!



My partner in crime



Handmade by angels



My besties & Customs buddy



Thank you OCF!


 
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(no subject) [Oct. 11th, 2009|09:37 pm]
I am almost there. I will leave university and thread into the big unknown, which some people may also call it The Workforce, very soon. Before I get there, I still have a mountain load of assignments to clear.. I am working my way there slowly. Very slowly...
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(no subject) [Oct. 1st, 2009|01:11 am]
There has been too much sadness around the past few days. I tried to pray but every time I feel like my prayers are so small compared to the mess the typhoon, the tsunami and the earthquake have left behind.

I recalled the bible study we did in camp a couple of days ago, which talks about the attributes of God. We spoke of His wisdom, infinitude, sovereignty, holiness, faithfulness and that He is a God of love, justice, peace and forgiveness. As I prayed, I got reminded that He is also the God of all comfort. Only He can bring hope in a place of pain, only He can bring joy in the hard times and we can choose to worship Him even in the darkest of times because He is a God that truly knows best. I may not understand now why the typhoon, tsunami or earthquake but I know His unfailing love is a comfort to everyone who believes.

Don't pray because you feel it is only right to pray for those affected, but pray because you believe that Jesus can meet them where they are today.

"May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant."
Psalm 119:76

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(no subject) [Sep. 20th, 2009|11:36 pm]
I have grown to appreciate my weekends so much more this semester and this FABULOUS weekend has just made it harder for me to start the new week. Though I must admit I am pretty excited for my massive week ahead. I know some weeks back I have been praying for a industry placement at Customs House, a practicum at Netball Queensland and some well-deserved victories on the courts with the girls. Guess what? I have started my placement at Customs House for two weeks now, I am starting at Netball Queensland tomorrow (!!) and the World Peas girls have been winning our matches to put us right on track to winning the finals ( we came in 3rd last semester after losing the semi). Can someone please shout GOD IS GOOD! 

I have a schedule next week that screams madness out loud but I am believing that this little stretch will benefit me heaps in days to come. I know that I don't have to do it on my own because I have the MIGHTY one on my side. The road is long, the valley's deep, the ocean's wide in front of me BUT God saves the day. He always does and always will, not just mine but yours too! For everyone who is needing more than caffeine to get through the next couple of weeks ahead, BIG hug from me. When everything else fades away, His faithfulness and love will remain. Have an awesome God-filled week! x
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(no subject) [Sep. 15th, 2009|10:31 pm]
I have some long overdue items on my to-do list. I have three sheets of white paper on my wall, each representing the month September, October and November. I have slightly more than two months before I finish university and get to take pictures with the family in that silly looking hat. Three years have come and gone, I'll save the reflections for later. For now, I should catch up on my readings for tourism policy and planning since my lecture is cancelled tomorrow, because my lecturers are part of the organised strike.
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(no subject) [Sep. 3rd, 2009|01:54 pm]
[Current Mood | thankful]

I don’t like disappointments. I dread uncertain times. I have struggled to trust God and His ways the past week, especially when it seems like He has rearranged every one of my plans and uprooted me from my comfort zone.

Yes, it was hard when He closed the door to the Executive Shadow Programme that I thought He would open. After all, it was He who guided me in selecting my first preference, He who granted me favor in the eyes of my lecturers, which led to my final interview with the host and He who shut the final door firmly. Surely I did think He was a little cruel when my hopes were built so high, only to have them dissolved in disappointment.

Over and over again I find myself having to surrender my fear, my pride and my disbelief. I am taken on a journey where I have to tell Him daily that I choose to trust Him even if I don’t understand Him. I know that some of my greatest growth has come during the setbacks in my life, and without a doubt I know we are strengthened by the tough circumstances. But sometimes it is so hard to stomach the downside of our experiences and praise Him for giving us an opportunity to grow…

As I go through this season of surrender and trust, I find myself relying more on His love and strength each day and begin to understand what contentment is. It is sufficient – knowing that God fills all the empty spaces in our lives with His joy. It is enough – a work of God in our hearts as we surrender it wholly to Him. It is to be full – as He reveals our true blessings.

Last Friday I received an email from the host of the ESP telling me that they have decided to take in a second student and they would offer the position to me. Two weeks ago I would have probably thought, yes I did it! But on that day, in the stillness of my heart, I knew undeniably that, yes He did it.  

I am smiling as I look back on the circumstances I find myself in, is truly an evidence of His sufficiency and faithfulness in my life. I have learned that we need to stop telling God how big our circumstance is and start telling the circumstance just how BIG our God is!

God is our refuge and strength, a very present and well-proved help in trouble (Psalm46:1). I love this translation from the Amplified Bible. Because I know every challenging circumstance I find myself in, He is there faithfully, even in my faithlessness.

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(no subject) [Aug. 27th, 2009|12:12 pm]
[Current Mood | sleepy]

I did not get the executive shadow program placement.

Disappointed? In an undeniably Karenina’s fashion -- my first thought was ‘I want to hide in a hole and die.’  

I was so overwhelmed by disappointment that I did not know what to feel or say, all I knew was that I wanted this to be taken away from me. The most amazing thing about our God is that He knows what we need at the time we need it most; He is our source of comfort and assurance.

He brought my attention to a story about a little boy who heard a weather forecast on the radio. The forecast came on and the announcer said it was going to be partly cloudy. The boy stopped playing, looked up with an indignant look on his face and said to his mom, ‘That man said it’s partly cloudy but it’s not! It’s partly sunny!’

It was enough for me.

I have a tendency to see my circumstances from a ‘glass half empty’ perspective (oh what a surprise!!). I get caught up with the mess and miss the wonders around me; I focus on what is missing and forget to rejoice in what I have. When a few clouds enter my world, I need to remember that the sun is still shining. My outlook does not need to change just because my circumstances have.

When I tell Him that He is all I want and He is all that I ever needed, do I really know the weight of my words? Is my relationship with Jesus in such a place that if He is truly all I had today, would I still say the same words to Him? Can I look at my circumstances confidently that no matter what, Jesus is enough?

As perfectly put by my devotion material today, we need to make a decision that Jesus is enough. We need to say it, believe it and settle it, even before it is being tested out in our lives. Jesus is enough.

I have learned that one of the portraits of a godly woman in the Bible says, ‘she can laugh at the days to come’ (Proverbs 31:25). She carries such joy in her life not because it is perfect, but she chose to make laughter, peace and true happiness the characteristics of her life. This was a woman to be praised because she fears God and knew without a doubt that He was enough.
 

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(no subject) [Aug. 23rd, 2009|04:10 pm]
[Current Mood | awake]

Uncertainty. We live in a world of uncertainty. Uncertain economic times. Uncertain social conditions. What we have today may very well be the things we do not have tomorrow. We are no strangers to uncertainty; neither are we immune to it regardless how hard we try. Some of the greatest man and woman of God in the Bible have been through alternating levels of uncertainty, often as though life was moving toward the worst directions possible. 

When Joseph was at the bottom of the cistern listening to his very own brothers, who have conspired against him, decide whether they would kill or sell him to slavery. When David faced the possible threat of his own son, Absalom killing him in his attempt to take over the kingdom. When Pharaoh ordered the killing of all male children born by the Israelite and a Hebrew woman would rather take the chance of what the dangerous river could offer as she placed the precious Moses in a basket. The question then and now remain the same. Where is God? Is He going to show up? Is He in control?

God was there. He was with Joseph, David and Moses then. The same God is here today.  And He's still got the whole world in His hands.

As I finished a 3-parts series, He's Still* Got the Whole World in His Hands by Andy Stanley last night, I was challenged to ask myself this question -- Can I trust God when there is no evidence of His activity in my life? I know my answer would determine my response to uncertainty.

When we travel through a dark season of uncertainty, we need to remind ourselves that God still has the whole world in His hands. Some of the brightest moments in our lives are the result of brokenness and when we trust that God is working through our circumstances, there is a sense of purpose and peace that emerged. Knowing that God is active in times of uncertainty allows us to maintain hope and faith even when the world is in despair. We have peace knowing that God has not and will not forsake us, and He is still in control.

It is good to know that God is active in uncertain times but meanwhile what do we do?

The Bible is a record of God's faithfulness in uncertain times; a record of God's faithfulness even to the faithless as Andy puts it in the series. God knows that we will be overwhelmed by fears and insecurities that come together with uncertainty and He has a plan. His plan is to replace our anxieties with peace.

Philippians 4:4-7

Paul had been through circumstances that were beyond any of our imaginations. He was stoned (as in rocks-thrown-at-you), whipped, accused, persecuted, alienated, shipwrecked (not just once!), put under house arrest and eventually executed... Paul's circumstances were crucial to the credibility of the passage. Surely this man knew of uncertain times more than anyone of us would ever get to know!

v.4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Rejoice (in the Lord) always. How often and easy it is for me to replace (in the Lord) with (in the relationship), (in the 7), (in the perfect day at work), (in the new job), (in my finances), (in my recognitions by others), (in my achievements).... and the list goes on. We have to learn to rejoice in the Lord even when our circumstances and emotions tell us otherwise. In uncertain times, we should rejoice in God's faithfulness in our lives and let our emotions catch up.

v.5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

In the midst of this passage on uncertainty, Paul exhorted us to 'let our gentleness be evident to all' because our characters are reflection of God's work in us.

v.6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Uncertainty brings our deepest fears and insecurities that have been buried inside our hearts to the surface. Paul's use of the word "present" in verse six means "to reveal". Uncertainty reveals our hidden insecurities. We are to reveal to God the deepest desires within our hearts. My prayers are no longer just, 'God, I need you to help me secure the placement' but 'God I need you to help me secure the placement because if you don't, I'm afraid that I will feel like I'm not good enough, I'm afraid of what others would think of me, I'm afraid I will fall short again, I'm afraid of feeling like it is so near yet so far.'

God knows what we want to pray for before we even open our mouths to ask. Uncertainty forces us to pray at the levels of insecurity and fear. As we reveal to God our deepest desires, sometimes God would reveal to us some of the insecurities we never thought we had.

v.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

In the midst of our uncertainty, God offers us peace. A peace that replaces all our fears, insecurities and anxieties. A peace that is beyond all human comprehension; a peace that stand watch over our hearts and minds. We need to embrace the reality of our dependence upon Him. We need to go to Him in prayers with our deepest needs, hopes and fears.

We need to remain hopeful in uncertain times. We need to remain hopeful in a hopelessly broken world. In the last part of the series, Andy defined hope as a person or thing in which our expectations are centered. Hope. It only works when the object of our hope is certain, when it is constant, when it will not fail. When Jesus was sent to die for our sins, God has shown us that His love is truly without fail. So even when this world remains broken and we are confronted by the uncertainty of this life, we can confidently hope if we put our hope onto God's unfailing love.

Psalm 33:22
May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

I just want to share this lengthy entry on some of my thoughts from my personal journal with you. If you are going through some uncertain times, don't lose faith! xx
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(no subject) [Aug. 22nd, 2009|07:17 pm]
[Current Mood | hungry]

Dear Jono,

While you were away on the Sunshine Coast studying the bible intensively, this was what I did on a Saturday.

1. I woke up at 9am
2. I went to Coles and bought TWO huge branches of BROCCOLI 
3. I stayed at the dining table for close to five hours, working diligently on my assignment with Jun
4. I killed a flying bug and Jun helped disposed its remains
5. I cooked the broccoli
6. I cooked a packet of instant noodles
7. Put 5 and 6 together (I know you are rolling your eyes) 
8. I finished my broccoli
9. I missed you
10. I am still missing you

xx
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(no subject) [Aug. 17th, 2009|08:18 pm]
The past week was filled with good fun, good food, good times and good company. The Ekka holiday shortened my week and I managed to clock more hours of sleep, which is essential for yet another madness week in uni. Things are set to look more exciting for the next couple of weeks with endless number of assessment pieces due; an industry placement I am praying for with Customs House; a practicum that I am hoping to do with Netball Queensland; AND our very own World Peas is starting our WINNING season with the first match on Wednesday night. MASSIVE weeks ahead which also means that I can rely MASSIVELY on His strength and His provisions (:
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(no subject) [Aug. 12th, 2009|09:10 pm]
[Current Mood | tired]

Before I begin looking at my tourism planning and policy case study for tomorrow's lecture, I thought I'd squeeze in some time for randomness on this rainy Ekka holiday in Brissie.

I am having vanilla yogurt with muesli, the same one I brought up to Mt Cootha with the blue spoon, the same one I ate on my bed while you slept on your stomach on the mattress at the foot of my bed. Incidentally, I am using the same blue spoon; or maybe it was the darker blue then and light blue now, either way it does not matter because everything pales in comparison to you.

I found four potatoes on my kitchen counter and they all belong to me. I forgot why I bought them but I keep buying them anyway. I was told it was because I miss you too much. You need a new duck and tongue; we need more flexible fingers so we can form the letters J to the T to the H without looking like we are having spasms on the front deck of the ferry.

There are things that you will best represent, like the millions of pictures on the net that is very-your-kind-of-love. 'I will get into his (fill in the blank).' and everything else that no one would(or want to) understand because it is completely juvenile in a sexy way haha. Who would have melted with me in the hotness of that picture, which I had to share with you even when you are more than 6000km away from me. Only you would understand what a grey fitting tshirt, shades, a gun and a ferrari would do to a girl's dream.

By now you would have finished two days of your final year in NTU. May I remind you that it is only Day Two, so please do not break any hearts just as yet and when the going gets tough, go buy some mock char siew from the vegetarian stall! xx

Miss you back and love back, in case you say I miss you and I love you.
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(no subject) [Aug. 6th, 2009|08:53 pm]
Semester two has kicked in real hard for me and many around me. The talk of the day usually revolves around early starts/late ends in uni, the irreplaceable role caffeine takes in sustaining most of our lives and being closed in on by assessment deadline. This semester promises so much but I realised it is so easy for negativity to creep into my head. In my attempt to flush some of the negativity out of my head, I treated myself to some wicked wings and ice cream this evening, and I must admit that the little things in life can be majorly satisfying.

The semester may seem overwhelming but it is teaching me to depend on Him like never before. The voices of bitterness is going to come knocking but I know that God is with those who follow Him. There will be daily battles that we need to fight but I take confidence and strength in knowing that the war has been won. To everyone on Team I-don't-like-uni, you can claim a BIG hug from me when we meet.
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(no subject) [Aug. 3rd, 2009|11:41 pm]
[Current Mood | thankful]
[Current Music |Chris Tomlin -- God of this city]

Sometimes it's so easy for me to forget that Jesus is the way, choosing to go my way instead; taking my eyes off God and do what is best in my own eyes. I need to constantly remind myself that God's way is perfect (2 Sam 22:31) and that even when I do not understand His plan, I know I can trust it to be better for us than anything we could devise for ourselves. I can rely on my limited vision -- finite and unreliable -- convinced that there is no way and get overwhelmed by the uncertainty, or I put my hope in Him and declare Him to be my way. 
 
 
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(no subject) [Aug. 2nd, 2009|12:53 am]
[Current Mood | thoughtful]

Too much going through my head tonight. So much to fear, so much to stand losing yet still so much to be thankful for. I know this might hurt a little along the way or hurt beyond any senses at the end, but I pray if I could only position this on my open palms and offer this for Your glory.
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(no subject) [Jul. 25th, 2009|05:01 pm]
[Current Music |Hillsong United -- Tear down the walls]

Last night Pastor Brian spoke on the power of a God encounter. The force of a collision with the unexpected can bring about a purpose and direction in our lives; a revelation that brings us in intimacy with Jesus; a responsibility and RESOLVE to make a change, to BE THE CHANGE.

This morning I read a story of a young girl kidnapped from her home and smuggled to Italy, where she worked four years as a sex slave; trapped in fear and helplessness; without hope and future. Every 30 seconds another person becomes a victim just like her, adding to the overwhelming statistic of human trafficking in today's world. The average age of victims of sexual exploitation in human trafficking is 14 years old. These people are being robbed of their bodies, freedom, future, joy and dignity. An estimated 1.8 million children are victims of the commercial human trafficking industry. We are not talking about items, goods or commodities, these are the daughters and children of God whom He gave His ALL for on Calvary. Are we going to sit around and watch them add to the statistics? Or are we going to do something? Can we do something about it? How can we do something?

So very often we are led to believe that issues like poverty and human trafficking (27 million people) are so overwhelming that we cannot make a difference. We think we are powerless and weak in the war against all these injustice around the world today BUT we need to remember that we have the greatest, most powerful weapon of warfare -- and that is PRAYER. James 5:16 tells us that the prayer of a righteous man is POWERFUL and EFFECTIVE! I believe very strongly that we, as a generation, need to make a commitment to stand together in prayer for the world we live in today. This is some crazy times we are in right now, but sometimes we just need to rise above our own circumstances and start believing for people who cannot for themselves; hope for the hopeless; proclaim liberty for the captives and lead them out of darkness.

If we want to see change, we need to start believing and quit doubting.

// Tear down the walls see the world
Is there something we have missed
Turn from ourselves
Look beyond
There is so much more than this

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:1-3

// Oh for all the sons and daughters
Who are walking in the darkness
You are calling us to lead them back to You
We will see Your spirit rising
As the lost come out of hiding
Every heart will see this hope we have in You

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(no subject) [Jul. 24th, 2009|01:40 am]
[Current Mood | loved]
[Current Music |Planetshakers -- How I love you]

Dear Heavenly Father,

Sometimes I don't understand why you would choose to love me the way you do, you paid an immeasurable price to have me on your side. Thank you for this undeserved love, thank you for taking my place on the cross. Forgive me when I take your love for granted. It is only by your grace and power that I stand free today, your forgiveness has changed my life forever and I want to tell you today how much your love means to me.

I have been crying lately because I am scared. I am afraid of what the futures hold; I am afraid of unfamiliarity, of loss, and of pain. Everyday I hold onto the promise that you have a plan for me, one that gives me a hope and a future. I stubbornly wish that you will take this away from me, slowly I begin to see my circumstances get bigger, I start to doubt and I can only imagine how this life will break me. Somewhere I forgot about the provision, protection, providence and peace that come from a daily journey with you. As I hopelessly try to cover up the cracks, I forgot that only light can shine through them. Forgive me when I forget about your immense favour in my life. Help me remember how far you have taken me from where I was as you lead me to another challenging season that need me walk by faith and not by sight.

I pray that you will carry me through these uncertain times, I pray that you will prepare me to become the person you want me to be at the end of it all. I may not know where you are leading me to but I trust your heart. I will wait upon the works of your hand and if my heart has to break once more to get closer to where your will wants me to be, I want to go through this and I will praise you forevermore. This is not about me but your glory, your glory that stole my heart. I know you will never harm me, neither will you leave nor forsake me. I have done nothing to deserve you but you have freely pour forth this love abundantly over me, and that alone is deserving of all my love, worship and praise.

Thank you and I love you.

The apple of your eye,
your princess xx


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(no subject) [Jul. 14th, 2009|11:55 pm]
[Current Mood | lethargic]

We need to remember that we do not live our lives independently of God. We can live our lives without a fear of the future because we have this hope in Him! Sometimes we can feel this life is all falling apart and everything else is crumbling down but take a moment to think of the living hope because of Jesus, our chief Cornerstone.

The conversations I have been having made me realise how vulnerable the circumstances are in our lives. 1 Peter 2:6 reminds me that we must actively choose to build our lives on the Rock.  If Jesus is established as the Cornerstone in our lives, there is consistence and firmness. At times I feel like my life is a box of puzzle yet to be pieced together and wonder how they will all fit at the end. At others, I think nothing seems to go the way I planned. I realised if we attempt to build our lives without our Cornerstone, everything will utimately fall apart.

Sometimes life may not be all rosy and smooth sailing. It may be an extremely rough patch in a relationship or just a difficult season overall, which makes you think maybe hey life's just not that into me. I need to REMEMBER that my saviour, refuge, comforter, bestfriend is MADLY in love with me and I should build my life upon Him, not the things of this world that will fail me. He is sufficient for my every hurt, every disappointment, every challenge and test in my life.

I have such a great reminder these past few days and it helps to have GHOST, ELPHY and POLLY around all the time of the day. xx
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(no subject) [Jul. 13th, 2009|01:14 am]
[Current Mood | awake]

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than self.. Puts up with anything, trust God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

Sometimes it is hard to even love, what more to love extravagantly. Tonight I realised I need a lot of grace to love some people in my life, to put myself out there knowing that I have been hurt far too many times; to love them as sons and daughters of God. We are called to love each other in a way that we have been loved by Him. It should extend to those who do not love us, and even the unlovables, but I find it difficult to grasp the notion of unconditional love. We are often results of our undoing and it is never easy to find someone who is willing to love you over all else but when you are given a choice to be the person to love, I learnt that it takes more than humilty and conviction. It is really about loving God's people with God's love. We are created for overflow; if we fill ourselves with His love, if we have a heart for His people, what flows out would be a love that never lose faith, a love that endures and a love that is always hopeful. It is a love that remains in good times as well as the bad. 

There will always be this person or persons we find exceedingly difficult to love. It may be the betrayal, pain, the broken heart, lies, pride, whatever it is that has built the wall around your heart over time. I hope you will come away with me on this journey of removing the barricades we have put up toward these individuals. I may not understand why I have to go through what I am going through but I am going to trust Him.

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. 1 cor 13:13


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(no subject) [Jul. 12th, 2009|05:01 pm]
It has been an exhausting week but given a chance, I would gladly go through it all over again. Music and heavy weight line-ups aside, it was His undeniable presence that saw many coming completely undone at the conference. It was more than music and messages that brought bucketful of tears and emotional-charged convictions. In fact, there were barely any tears BUT a new song from the heart for this UNSHAKABLE faith, hope and love we have.

One of the greatest impact I had during the conference was by Jentezen Franklin and I remember telling Jono that if he were to speak one more time during the conference, my heart would just stop there and then. It has been a great conference receiving the Word and learning from people/leaders with such willing hearts to see His Kingdom glorified.

It's good to be home! I have missed the few beings at home and here's a shout out to CHARLIE NATHAN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 

xx
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(no subject) [Jun. 29th, 2009|12:33 am]
[Current Mood | tired]

I woke up at 2:30pm on a Sunday afternoon and stayed awake successfully (after two coffees that is) since. We saw Year One and basically spent the entire evening going through the lines over and over again from the movie. I thought it was a lighthearted and mindless enough show for a lazy afternoon. I didn't think it was brilliantly funny but I have been very easily amused lately. 

I have this irrational fear of people upsetting the order in my life. Honestly, I am beginning to see it as something rational. The balance between space and security -- is something I am so glad ALL my girlfriends are well-versed in. I love Livejournal for its Friends Only entries. I shall elaborate the entry after this (or maybe not, depends).
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